Well here we go… Bye Bye social Life. First though, I gotta say that the amount of free stuff that you’re given with The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is awesome. I think it was only if you pre-ordered the game, but still, for no extra cost I got stickers, the soundtrack, a map… But most importantly- a fucking instruction manual! It has been too long since I’ve seen one of these and what’s even better is- you actually get 2 of them! Halle-fucking-lujah I don’t know why these ever went away. The game looks exactly how I like a game to look- realistic, but still with plenty of colour. And the skeleton soldiers look cool as hell, as if their straight from the cover of an Iron Maiden album.
"Don't look to the eyes of a stranger!" You play as a guy called Geralt and it’s your job is to go round the world hunting monsters. And it’s nice to see that the monsters are out and about for a change. Usually in a game like Zelda, Bloodborne or even Battlefield Hardline the bosses are always cooped away up in a dungeon or a castle or a fortress or something like that, whereas with The Witcher 3, the bosses are more like; “Fuck that I’m going to the countryside for a bit. I don’t need to hide behind any walls, just cos some little guy’s out to get me! Fuck that- I do what I want!” “I will find you. And I will kill you.” “Oops- I forgot my horse…” So it’s your job to track down and hunt these monsters by following their footprints or by following trails of blood and setting traps for them. I should say at this point that I opted for the “Death March!” difficulty, apparently for the truly insane.
Well, I do normally always go for the highest difficulty, but with a lengthy RPG like this you’ve got to be cautious because it may mean that you’re gonna have to spend a lot of time grinding away to level up or even worse, you may only realise that you’ve made the game too hard 7 or 8 hours in, by which time you’re kinda committed because really don’t want to be having to start a new game after all that time. One thing that does annoy the hell out of me sometimes in RPGs is the random bullshit loot you pick up, like rusty forks or a spoon or something like that which means that basically there’s something in every container- I mean, what is the point? Look at this inventory screen- it’s a mess of junk. OK, I mean, I get it that you can just sell all this, or even just ignore it and leave it behind if you want to, but being a meticulous player, it means you have spend ages in every room checking every little box and chest and barrel and drawer… By the way, while I was checking all these boxes, some witch was after me and for some reason I had completely overlooked the bit that said she only came out in the day, so I was trying to do this whole bit by sneaking around her… which didn’t really work. You would have thought that if a ghostly figure was gonna come at only one time, it would be at night. Also, you would have thought that a game with “Hunt” in the title would have had a bit more of a stealth mechanic to it.
When it did eventually get late and the ghost went away I thought that I had somehow just glitched her away, I dunno. This is a big ol’game- the first area seems pretty big, but then you go on to open up a second area and it’s like 50 times bigger. But the problem is that the loading time obviously has to increase as well- it doesn’t have to load very often, only really when you start the game or if you die, but unfortunately… I was dying a lot. Goddamn you Death March difficulty. There are quite a few different aspects to combat, but I found that for me, the best tactic was to simply sidestep around to the back of an enemy and then fast attack em, while having the shield sign on, so I could take a free hit. But really, the best way to succeed is to use the Bestiary and find the weakness of all the different enemies.
It’s like the old saying goes- “know your enemy”, and it’s nice that the game actually encourages you to do a bit research. I recently did a video about Persona 4 Golden, where I said that the best thing about that game was the characters. But I often find that in western RPGs, the characters are never really as memorable as in JRPGS because instead of crazy personalities and zany quotes, all that seems to be different about everyone is which part of Europe, or more often than not, which part of the UK their accent is from. Aww, “shine you’re boots guv’nor”… classic! And Geralt sounds too much like Batman… “And I’m Batman.” But one of the coolest features of the game is demonstrated perfectly here… See- Geralt’s beard is growing! I had him shaved a few days ago and now it’s growing back all by itself! Now THAT is what I call next gen!.